Big News?

It's been a little bit since I last posted because I've either been too busy after work or just too tired to write anything substantial. But now I'm sitting here at 1am with a bunch of caffeine on board (I really hate how my body won't get any kind of effect from caffeine until at least 3 hours after I ingest it) and not being able to go to sleep, so I figured it would be a good time to share my thoughts on some stuff. This is probably going to be pretty long, so brace yourself. Some of this is kind of big news and I would normally relay it in person or by phone, but with the whole international calls barrier I think it's better just to post it here. Besides, I get my serious thoughts across a lot better in words anyway.

First off, my enjoyment of this job has all of the sudden just skyrocketed. I'm not sure if it's just the kids getting comfortable with me, causing them to be more active in the class; if it's me getting more comfortable with the kids, causing me to have more motivation and energy; if it's me understanding my roles in elementary and middle schools better; if it's me just getting better at the job; or a combination of all the above (most likely). Even the middle school kids have been quite a bit more pumped up overall in the last few weeks, and middle school was pretty much the main downfall of the job, so basically all the "obstacles" for me liking this job are either being removed or are gone completely--except for the fact that the pay is pretty pathetic. It's kind of strange going to bed and actually looking forward to going to work. In all my years of schooling, the occasions where I didn't despise getting up and going to school were so rare that they may as well not have existed. It's a totally new feeling to be sitting there Sunday night not going "Man, only five more days till the weekend", and as you can imagine, it's pretty nice. It's also nice having some kind of routine or advance knowledge of what's going to happen during the day. It's hard enough going into a new job in a field that you're familiar with, because no two places have the same bosses, the same procedures, etc. It's even harder to go into a totally new field with all the above. Now throw in that you don't even speak the same language as 99% of the people there, AND that their culture is hugely different in pretty unpredictable ways, and you can see how frustrating and mind-boggling it would be at the beginning. But now I'm starting to get some stuff figured out, and I'm feeling like I know my place and I know how to not step on anyone's toes, so my anxiety in that area is lower too.

So as a direct consequence of this, I've decided that there's a possibility, though at this point it's minimal, that I'll renew my contract for another year. Even before I got the job, I had always assumed that I would have no reason to stay beyond the initial contract. The up and down nature of the first two months or so only solidified that thought. But it really does seem like every single day that goes by, I like the job more and more, and the fact that I think it's rooted in comfort levels makes me think that it can be even better next year when I go into the school on Day 1 already knowing the vast majority of the students and not having to go through this tedious introduction phase. There are people that I pass in the halls who light up and say "OH, KYLE!" when a month ago they would barely acknowledge me even after I said hi to them, and all the time more and more kids are having their timidness worn away and having the same transformation.

There are other reasons that I'm thinking of staying, which are rooted in another big topic: what I'm doing when I get back to America for good, whenever that will be. The more I think about it, the less I think the technology field is going to be what I want to do for the rest of my life. For one, as much as I enjoy computers and electronics and think that I'm pretty good with messing around with them on a basic level, I really just kind of went through the motions for my classes in college, and never really enjoyed anything beyond a brief moment at the beginning of some classes. I enjoyed the computer hardware ones the most, but when it actually got down to the senior level classes where the material began to approach what I would actually see in real life, I got completely turned off. Trying to read a computer science book is pretty much repulsive to me now. Ditto with reading stuff about circuits or lower level physics stuff with transistors. It's all fine and good when I read a short little snippet or blurb of some technical article, but trying to get deep into it just wears my mind down to the point that I have to just stop reading.

So if I'm not planning on getting a job in what my degree is in, then what am I going to do? Well, my current thinking is (brace yourselves)...teaching. Yes, quite a switch from computer science, but obviously not so much considering my current occupation. I know some of you are throwing up in your mouth a little considering the kind of horror stories you hear about teaching in America, but right now, it seems like one of the only jobs that I would have any kind of enjoyment with when I leave this country. I'm specifically leaning towards elementary. I've done a bit of research already on what I would need to do education-wise to be a teacher, and technically all I need is a bachelor's degree and a passing score on a state certification test. But not only is that highly recommended against, I don't want to do it anyway, because I'd actually be more likely to just get a second bachelor's degree.

Let me explain. Since I already have a ton of core curriculum classes from my CS degree, essentially the first two years of the teaching degree would be taken care of off the bat. Next, the financial aspect is not going to be much of a problem, partially because I'd only be going for two years or so, and partially because there are a TON of grants and scholarhips for teaching majors because of the huge shortage of teachers all over the place. Not only that, but when I'm 23 I can declare myself as financially independent, which, when considering how little my annual income would be, means I would get a completely ridiculous amount of free money after the various free-money-handing-out organisations would look at my FAFSA report (see: www.fafsa.ed.gov) and conclude that I am a bum living in a cardboard box eating the old doughnuts that they throw out behind Wal-Mart. Staying here another year has a lot to do with this, because I wouldn't actually be able to declare myself independent until 2008, since their ridiculous rules say that you have to be 23 before Jan. 1st of the year for which you're seeking aid to do so. Not only would staying open up that floodgate of money, but I'd also be able to save money by working here and getting various bonuses for renewing my contract and so on. Plus in the breaks between semesters I can work part-time at private schools to make more money, then take a week or so to go do more sightseeing in the country.

The big advantage of going the whole way and getting the degree is that I would really like to do a student teacher program like UNT has. You go for a whole year (your senior year, taking one or two classes concurrently but going to schools full-time) as a student teacher to a local elementary school getting real-life experience with all the curriculum planning, grading, and other stuff that you wouldn't get just by watching a few classes and talking with veteran teachers. That way, if it turned out that I was totally mistaken about my feelings and desire for the job, I would only have wasted maybe two years of schooling and not much money. Otherwise I would be so ridiculously prepared for the job that I would take it by storm more than pretty much anyone in the history of teaching has. I mean, who else would have several years of actual experience with kids spanning grades 1-9 before starting his absolute first official day as a teacher?

Anyway, I know that's a ton of information to be digesting at once, but I think it's all interconnected enough that it's best to just lay it all down on the table. I've been thinking about this stuff night and day recently, and I needed to get it all written down to not only get people caught up, but just to sort it out for myself. I'll be writing clarifications and stuff later when I look back tomorrow in a clear-headed state and go "What was this crap that I wrote?"

It's now 2:30a and I think I'll try to go to sleep, if Noli's freaky snoring doesn't keep me up even longer.